Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Tired

....in the pregnant way where you think you could literally sleep ALL day. Pregnant women do LOTS of work without even knowing it! I always encourage my first-trimester pregnant friends to go ahead and rest and not feel bad about it because making a baby is hard work.

It's interesting the difference between fatigue and tiredness. Most chronically ill people are fatigued. But what I found with some of the inexperienced (with chronic illnesses) doctors is that when I listed that as a symptom they'd say, "So you sleep all day or feel like you could?"

"NO" I'd say, "I'm FATIGUED...extremely fatigued. I have zero energy the minute I roll out of bed. Walking to the bathroom feels like I just ran a marathon. But I don't think I could sleep." Most doctors didn't pay attention to this and assumed I meant I felt like sleeping all day.

But really there is a HUGE difference! That is how I know that right NOW, the tired feeling I have is related to pregnancy. If I was fatigued I'd wonder if all my symptoms were creeping back in from this 2 week respite I've had.

The fatigue I've experienced was always constantly worrisome to me. I didn't know WHY I was so fatigued and didn't know how to fix it. I tried everything. I felt a sense of guilt that I couldn't do things as simple as walk to another room or felt a bit like a failure as I watched people clean my house. I shouldn't have but it's hard not to when you spend month after month crumpled on the couch.

So while I curl up on the couch these days and sneak a nap while my little one takes her nap, I don't feel one ounce guilty or worried because I know it serves a purpose and know the reasons behind it and know it's not a mysterious illness :) I can be thankful for something this little right now after the year I've had and will be thankful for it as long as it lasts :)

Friday, February 20, 2009

Pregnant

...but not in the almost-about-to-burst way. I feel the early symptoms -- the overwhelming nausea where you have to take a bite of protein as soon as you wake up or else you'll never make it to the kitchen to make breakfast for yourself.

Last time around I had a husband who helped. This time I have an almost 2 year old Goose who needs ME to cook for her as well as me being the sole cooker in the house for me too :) So far I've been able to stand strong at cooking for her but I did nearly have to pull the car over to lose my breakfast yesterday while she was asking over and over for "lunch". Thank goodness for life savers! The little punch of sour helped me make it to my destination.

Still trying to figure out how pregnancy and systemic yeast go together? Since I don't absorb nutrients the way I should, having a baby leaching nutrients from ME seems like the only one really losing here is me. I have already begun to lose weight unfortunately even though my appetite for the last 2 weeks has been HUGE. I've eaten lots of calories and was sure because of the volume of it that I had put a few pounds on. I was quite shocked to step on the scale and see I had gone backwards quite a bit. Just another thing to mention to the doctor.

I'm thankful for the Great Physician who is caring for both me and Baby #2 and who I put all my trust in as I wait for answers!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Intrigued

Pretty much since I found out I was pregnant, my health has improved greatly! I thought at first it was because hubby was home, but realized he had been home for 2 weeks with hardly any improvement. Now I have loads of energy and only minimal aches and pains. In the next few weeks I'm sure the pregnancy symptoms will rage but for now I am thankful and enjoying this respite from the awful candida die-off symptoms.

I also think the 18 days my beloved was home really helped not only emotionally but physically in that my body got to rest! He took care of the munchkin and me and it was so nice to let my body rest. That is probably another factor into why my body is feeling 'better'.

We'll see how it goes now that he's gone back to finish his tour!

Monday, February 2, 2009

Achy

...but happy because my best friend is here to comfort me :) And I do not have Lyme Disease! Such an answer to prayer.

I am still fighting off the candida but have had some really good days nestled between really rough days.

And it always helps to have hubby home to take my mind off of how my body feels :) The little Goose is very happy as well to have her daddy home for a visit.