reflective

Okay, we're just going to make this a big one since I keep promising it and things get in the way -- namely - a wee one who keeps me from getting a full night's rest, plus caring for my girls and him during the day -- even now, I've had to get interrupted about 5 times from writing this :)  But I LOVE it.  It means I'm well enough to do all of that and daily I'm so encouraged about it.

While I'm feeling so so great, here are some of the signs that Lyme isn't totally gone yet (and that's why we continue with treatment):
-I have bouts of memory problems....generally while ON antibiotics that are killing the "bugs".
-My appetite has yet to rise....generally I get a hearty appetite for a few days within a month's span
-I still pace myself during the day.  Living with a chronic illness shows you your limits, so it makes it easier as you get well, to know what might push you over the edge if you're not careful.


Here are some things that are noticeably better:
-I can walk.....far.....without it ruining the next few days :)
-I haven't sat in my wheelchair since December '11 :)
-I'm not irritable hardly at all :)
-I can keep up with laundry, cleaning, and teaching my daughter to read....all without needing to stop and rest :)

Now here comes the post that should be a separate one, but since I'm here and writing, I'm going to continue it.

I've been reflecting on the things Lyme has taught me.  If I hadn't had Lyme, I would never have:


-learned to pray "Lord, give me the grace to handle this day" each morning
-gotten over my phobia of throwing up
-learned how to "wait" - the way you should "wait" when GOD says "Wait."
-learned to drop my pride and accept help when I needed it.
-(and on the same note) learned to throw pride out the window and accept the fact that a wheelchair makes life so much easier when you don't have energy or are in so much pain.
-learned just how long I am able to "endure"
-seen just how committed my husband is as a friend and father
-witnessed the love of my family amidst a disease that can sometimes tear families apart.
-seen how much I took for granted when I was "well"

I know I've learned much more but those are the things that have come to mind recently.

icked

Wow - our whole family got sick right after I got the great news from my Lyme doctor that after about 3 cycles of a slightly different protocol we've been doing, that I will most likely get to go on a "maintenance" dose of meds!  That is huge!  We are so thankful.....but I still gotta make it to that point because as we all know, Lyme&Co. are really good at interrupting best laid plans.

So like I said, my husband fell ill, then my daughter about 12 hours later, followed by myself and my other daughter about 3 hours after that.  It was just 4-5 days of high fevers and body aches.  Not fun at all.  But there was no respiratory problems or stuffy noses so that made it at least not as bad.  Well, not so much for my youngest who already had a cough going into it and got diagnosed with pneumonia after that fever had its way with her.  (She is now better).

Anyhow - this new Lyme protocol had one added element to what we've been doing already -- we added an herbal med that fights Babesia.  This was just to "make sure the Babesia is in check" as my doctor said.  No problem....should be fine.  Well fast-forward to as soon as I started taking it -- I had pain in my chest and breathing problems.  I didn't even THINK it could be a herx reaction so I went to the ER thinking it might be bronchitis but thinking it was awfully odd that I didn't really have a cough....yet since my daughter had pneumonia it was one thought in my mind.  I also got so so so tired....but again, I was recovering from a not-so-fun virus.  A chest x-ray revealed nothing.

A few days later, still---chest pain and shallow breathing.  I went to my general practitioner and they did a chest x-ray too.  After it came back clear I finally realized -- this was a herx!  I had to start my Lyme meds at the very tail end of being sick so it all blended together.  But the farther I get away from the virus I had, the more clear these herx symptoms are.

(click for source)

AWFUL....I think it's pretty clear to me that Babs is still somewhat committed to making my body its home.  You know when you are supposed to take your medicine and you know the meds you are about to pop in your mouth are going to make you feel awful?  Well, tonight I actually put them back in the pill case.  I took all but that herbal fighter (because all of the other meds I have been taking for a few months now and my body never handled them this way).

Then after a series of conversations between myself and myself......and myself and my husband, I decided to take them after all.  There's no point in getting THIS far in the journey to beat Lyme only to have Babesia rear its ugly head later.  It also helps that my mom happens to be in town this week so she's able to help with the kiddos.

So anyway -- that post about the things that still show themselves even though I'm feeling nearly "normal"?  It'll still come but it's been sidelined by this unexpected awful herx.