F A T I G U E D

It's funny (depending on how you look at it), one of the worst things to hear sometimes for someone who is chronically ill is "You look so good!" or "You're looking great!" because, when people say that to me or comment about a picture of me, I can remember exactly what I was feeling in that picture or at that moment and most times it wasn't my best day.  It's awful to suffer from a disease that makes you feel so terribly awful and yet doesn't necessarily make you LOOK sick.

I know all of those people who say I look good mean well.  And really, what else would I want them to say?  I look bad?  Oh THANK you for telling me!  That's just how I feel!  No. I guess what I'd like to hear is, "I know you're still suffering and must be feeling awful, but you are still looking good." or something like that.  I know it's unfair to expect that because honestly, I rarely post pictures of myself without makeup, in sweats, and feeling sickly on the couch (which is most days).  I post pictures when I do look good. So I shouldn't complain.  Chronic illness is hard to understand unless you've gone through it. *sigh* I really shouldn't complain.  Hearing a compliment is a nice thing.....even when you're sick :)

The picture here is from this weekend.  I was just coming off of a "good" week (no antibiotics).  We had been invited to a murder mystery party.  Fun.  1940's theme.    It was a lot of fun but I wasn't feeling great.  I was feeling better than I do while I'm on antibiotics, and no, I didn't need the wheelchair, but in all reality I was feeling pretty bad.

Thankfully, though, even while feeling bad, I was able to enjoy myself.  The party was fun and I'm glad I decided to go.

This time without our oldest daughter (who is out of state with Grandma and Grandpa) gone has indeed proven to give me more rest.  It doesn't make me feel better physically but I am able to rest more and the stress on my system has been lightened.  We are seeing more and more that it was the right decision to send her.  And soon I will see her!  Counting down the days :)  She is having fun with her loving grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins.  We Skype every night.  Love it.

I had an appointment with my doctor.  He said I am making progress, but as many of you know, killing this complicated disease is a LONG process.  He wanted to start me on Babesia treatment (a co-infection of Lyme) but because we are about to travel/move out of state in the next couple of weeks, he doesn't want to shock my system with something new.  So I will stick with the treatment I've been on (same drugs, same timing - 2 weeks on, 1 week off).  Means I'll have an "off" week the week of Christmas!!  :)

Speaking of the holidays,  I have a question for you all.  It might just add some cheer to your day if you're suffering like am.

What was the most memorable (good or bad) holiday you had and why?


I'll tell you mine in the comments.  :)