Monday, April 18, 2016

anticipatory

It's been so busy. It feels like one thing after another this last month.  And it can be a good barometer of how I'm healing to watch how my body responds to all the busy-ness.  Our family just got back from Seattle.  The WHOLE family went. WOW.  For sure my body isn't up to traveling alone with all the kids, and I'm thankful my husband volunteered to sit with the two most precocious ones on the way there and the way back.  And I'm thankful for gracious and understanding friends who let me just sit and be at their houses, not expecting me to jump up and help chop food and set tables.  They remember me at my sickest 5 years ago and while I've improved so so much since then, they are the kind of friends you want for life. They are godly and humble and selfless and they put your needs above their own and don't judge you for just needing to sit and watch them prepare food for (oh my goodness) 8 kids in all if you combine them!!

It was non-stop while we were there and it was so fun! But when we got back, my body crashed.  We walked in the door, I lay on the couch, and my body just crashed.  And it's been doing that for quite some time.  Even though I've been doing so much better and been able to do a lot more, walk a lot further, etc - I still pay for it. Usually it means I have to lay, recharge a bit, and then I'm able to get up and do a little more.  But the crash from Seattle was literally a 6 hour straight nap during the day, wake up to eat a little bit even though my tummy was queasy, watch a bit of Netflix, then sleep hard through the night.  My body needed a really big re-charge.  And the following day I still felt like I was recovering!

So energy is still a huge issue we are dealing with and in a few short days I will go to DC to see my doctor and discuss these things and get examined and find out what's what.

A lot of times I try to compare it to the phone battery - imagine waking up, but you only have about a 40% charge - even though you just slept through the night! After a shower and getting dressed, you're already down to 20%. Making breakfast for the kids takes you down to 5% and then you start thinking in your head about how to ration that last 5% until you can re-charge.  I have it down to a science on some days when we have to go out.  The shower goes out the window, obviously, and that saves me a little bit of battery "juice"; my husband makes the kids breakfast or the eldest will chip in, and that helps; but still you have these unexpected things that come up and boy, oh boy! You just don't know what is going to "drain your battery" or when you'll have a chance to lie down and re-charge.  Sometimes a nap is needed for a really good re-charge, sometimes just quiet and lying down is needed. It all depends on the severity of what energy has been expended.  And THAT is what needs to continue to be addressed with my doctor and team of doctors.  They have already been working on this and one of their solutions has already proven to have been helpful, but we've got some work to still do.

So that is why I am anticipating this next appointment at the end of the week to find out the next plan of action and see if we can't get some more energy ideas put into place and well as continuing to address killing off the last remaining little buggers of Lyme&Co.  Thankfully it looks as though there may not be many left.  But just as soon as I start thinking that and the doctors start evaluating that, sometimes Lyme can throw you for a loop...it's such a tricky disease.  So we continue to pray that God heals me completely and thoroughly and rids my body of all traces of this horrid disease!

We are thankful for how much more I am able to do and for all the improvement we've seen over the last years.  Even when it's hard to be thankful for the lows, I know God has used them to help encourage others, so I know there is glory for Him in that.  And I know my kids watch me closely and are learning valuable lessons that I hope one day will translate to them in one way or another. So - I anticipate the end of the week and what the doctor will say!

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