Wednesday, November 30, 2011

cloudy with a chance of sunshine

Let's see, for at least a month, maybe even longer, I have basically had cloudy skies over my head.  I'd been doing "better" and enjoying it and then started the new meds. Bring in the clouds.  I should have KNOWN -- I mean, it happens EVERY time.  Every new protocol seems to target something else or take a different approach to trick those little Lyme "bugs" into surrendering.  It's a GOOD thing for my body, just demoralizing for my soul.  Especially after feeling like I made a huge improvement before.

It's been hard to be creative enough to blog; hard to be creative enough to make my daughters stay happy and entertained during the day......basically I've been dragging my feet with my head full of sludge.  I think most of it is the meds and herxing.  Some of it was anxiety about my daughter's Lyme test (which turned out to be Indeterminate....herm) and what to do after that news (we're praying about it and think we know which direction we're going to go with this).  And possibly the holiday "stress".  Our Thanksgiving wasn't stressful at all but there is some subconscious "stress" that goes on when hosting.

Here I am in the middle of my second week of meds before a two week break and today was the FIRST day in a month+ where I had the blessing of feeling some sunshine.  My head is clearer, my kids are happier, and I just feel grateful for even the shortest of reprieves from how I've been feeling. Even if it leaves tomorrow, I'm hoping I will still be grateful that I had this one day after many long, bad ones.

I'm enjoying the holiday season.  We decorated for Christmas in our house and as December rolls in tomorrow, we will count the days off until we get to see our extended family.  It will be the first trip we've made as a family since last Christmas.  We usually take a Summer vacation but I was too ill this year.  We've felt a bit cooped up because of that.  So I know that all of us will feel wonderful and each get a rejuvenation not having to be in our house faced with my disease all the day long.

I know I'll still be ill and feel ill during our holiday, but sometimes the extra laughs you get being around your funny brothers, and the extra hugs from moms and dads will help.  And girl time with sister will make me feel a little more "normal" too.  And the list goes on.

So anyway - the sunshine today is welcome warmth for my soul and I know God gives me those encouragements just when I need them.


  1. Sorry it's been so rough for you lately, Heather. Between the holidays, new meds, and everything else, it's easy for those clouds to roll right on in. If you need a little sun (metaphorically and literally), you could always come to Florida. Would love to cart you around Disney and eat gluten free godies. Just say the word. :) XOXOX

  2. That sounds fun, Kathy!!! Now to get to Florida...... :)