Wednesday, August 3, 2011

like I've come to terms

Come to terms with what, you might ask?  Lyme disease?  Not quite. I still struggle every once in a while with the fact I have it and how it affects every aspect of my life.

No, what I'm talking about now is my wheelchair.  I knew I needed to use it, and I would, but it was SO humiliating to me!  It shouldn't have been but I felt too young to need to sit in it without having any obvious signs of distress showing on my body.  And people would look down at me with pity in their eyes.  Seeing a young mom in a wheelchair probably does that.

You know how I got the wheelchair?  I thought one day early in to treatment that a wheelchair would be helpful and allow us as a family to get out more and go on walks, etc.  But we didn't have one.  I looked them up on craigslist.  I was shocked at just how expensive USED ones were!  I put it out on Facebook that if anyone knew of a wheelchair that wasn't being used, then please consider letting us buy it or borrow it.  I knew we definitely would not be able to afford one.  I lay in bed that night and prayed that somehow God would provide us with a wheelchair.

The next morning my sister called.  She was set to fly in to help with the girls in a few days.  She said, "My in-laws have a really nice wheelchair that they haven't used in years and they said they'd LOVE for you to borrow it."  God really provided for us!  But she was out of state.  HOW to get it?  Well, she found out that even if you aren't physically sitting in the chair, you can get it on the plane for free!  So when she came to visit she brought it to us!

I am SO thankful for the generosity of her in-laws.  How kind and gracious!

A wheelchair to a Lyme patient is such an encouragement.  It allows us to experience more, even if it's not much.  I was confined to the house.  Even walking around the house seemed to stretch my limits of strength.  Church was hard to get to because of the walk from the car to the inside of the church!  A wheelchair allowed me to be more social.

It also helped when traveling on planes.  Most of the trips where to my doctor but some were to see family.  I would have never been able to walk the airport or stand in lines.

It took a LONG time to come to terms with my embarrassment of having to be wheeled around.  I mean, you feel so helpless and know you LOOK helpless.  My husband jokes that it's my "adult stroller".  I guess you can come up with that kind of joke when you wheel around two young kids all the time :).  It doesn't offend me because it's him saying it.

So it's been almost a year and I realized as I was being wheeled around downtown the other day that I don't care.  The benefit of the wheelchair outweighs the embarrassment of sitting in it and now I just smile at those pity-face givers who walk by and look at me instead of hanging my head in shame.

Next up - getting a shower chair (showers are extremely depleting energy-wise).  I have dug in my heels on that one but it is becoming more clear that it would be helpful.  So we'll see.  I'll tell you when I've come to terms with THAT! :)


  1. I hear you on the wheelchair. It was and sometimes still is a struggle. I'm glad you're enjoying the benefits of having one. :)

    A shower chair. Do it! It bothers me from an aesthetic viewpoint (so silly), but it has been a lifesaver.

    Praying for you always. Love you.

  2. Hey...if a shower chair or a wheelchair or any kind of chair helps you retain your energy so you have more time to enjoy your family and friends...go for it!

    Besides, you are so crafty! With a glue gun...some ribbon and rhinestones...I know you can make a simple old shower chair into something amazing! Might even be the start of a new business venture for you! ;-)

  3. (HOLLY! You crack me up!)

    Yes, Heather, DO it!

  4. Hey there. I'm new to this blog--but not to Lyme disease. I've had it for like 2 years now---and I've only had a couple of rounds of antibiotics. Right now I'm on another 28 day round of doxy--but only because i went to the ER and they did some testing on me--the very nice dr, who saw me told me my test for the lyme panel came up positive---again. So, another round of doxy. I was wondering, did your dr. say anything to you about treating you for parasites also? Or are you one of the "lucky" ones that didn't get that headache too?

  5. Well we've done some testing for parasites and even a round of treatment for them but looks like I don't have them. Have you found a good "Lyme-Literate" doctor? You can find one by emailing

  6. Hey I say if it helps then who cares what other people think. I know easier said than done and I also have trouble with this sort of topic. Good post!!

  7. I'm not sure that anyone ever asks you what is wrong. They probably don't, but if they ever do, it's a good opportunity to share with them what you're going through and how you are only able to go through it with the strength Christ gives you. I've been convicted more recently to take every opportunity to share the gospel--it certainly takes the focus off myself. Not that I've found many opportunities since I'm home most of the time, but it's on my mind at least.

  8. I'm soooo glad you can get to church and other places more easily with the chair - praise God for his grace in helping you "come to terms".

    Just think -- the shower chair is totally private, no looks at all on that one! Go for it.

    love from CA!