Weepy

Here we are on day 5 of treatment and for sure this is the worst day so far.  Ick.  I feel TERRIBLE.  I go in waves of barely functioning to what must be waves of adrenaline when I have to care for the kiddos.  Definitely the hardest thing I've done in life is being ill WHILE being a mom.

You want to train your kids as they grow and teach them to be kind and obedient but that really is a FULL-time job.  And I'm not well enough to do it so it just discourages me so much as the days go on.  I have to pray a lot that God will guard their little hearts until my husband and I can be more consistent in raising them.

I think I've cried more today than I have in a while.  Just so discouraging to be a mom and be ill.

But there's hope!  On Monday I'll have live-in help for a whole month!  And it will be various members of my sweet family taking turns to serve us that way.  It will be great to see them and much laughter will be had (which I'm sure helps in the healing process) :) and I will get more rest than I've gotten it a while because they are all servants and don't need to ask what needs to be done.  They just do.

It will bless our family greatly!