Tuesday, April 26, 2011

all "spoon'd" out

For the next two weeks I do not have to take Lyme-killing-meds.  The hope is that my body will rally and I'll feel "good" and better for as long as possible to sort of gauge how well the meds are working.

Problem is, I started this week off with a holiday.  A holiday that I simply couldn't just lay around for.  I was too excited.  On Saturday we gave the girls their Easter baskets and did an easter-egg hunt in our backyard.  Even just getting off the couch and standing outside with her and Daddy took some of my "spoons".  My body had just come off of a rough 2 weeks of treatment so I really didn't have "spoons" to spare.  I was in "spoon" debt.

Then the next day was Easter.  We got up early and got ready for church to go celebrate the resurrection of our Savior.  Right after church we came home and cooked and cooked to prepare an Easter "feast" (as my little girl calls it).  My husband made me rest a lot during this but some recipes just need Mommy's touch.   We had a few friends there to help too so that made it easier.

But preparing food, socializing (with great friends no less), etc., always depletes my already depleted supply of spoons.  It's so sad that something so fun can make you feel awful the next day. So there I was left on Monday -- pretty sad and feeling awful.  But you know what?  My husband and I talk about it.  He'll always say, "Are you sure you want to do that because it'll just make you feel worse afterward?"  And depending on the activity I'll say, "I know the cost, but it's worth it for this!"  And that's just what it was this weekend.  It was all worth it to feel worse afterward.  I didn't mind losing "spoons" for all that.

Today I feel a LOT better but I'm laying low just the same to make sure I can truly recover and not overdo it these next two weeks.  It helps so much that my sweet friend from our old church out-of-state came to visit for a couple weeks and she's helping with the kids.  It really is giving my body a chance to recover from treatment AND the busy weekend.

I was SO excited for Easter-feast :)  While on the yucky meds, I was perpetually NOT hungry.  Every night my husband would ask what I would like him to make for dinner and every night my answer was, "Blech.  Don't ask me.  Just give me food and I'll do my best."  I worked HARD to eat something at every meal.  It wasn't always very MUCH food, but I did EAT so that was good.  I ended up losing 10 lbs. over the course of the last month or so.  Not great for someone who was already underweight.....and for someone who gaining weight is a HARD endeavor.

But all that to say, I planned our Easter meal because I knew I would probably have a better appetite and so I picked things that sounded delicious.  We had a yummy ham (from Costco that I'm proud to say this year, the brown-sugar basting sauce is gluten free!), rack of lamb, cold spinach salad, potatoes au gratin, fruit salad with a delicious vanilla-citrus sauce, deviled eggs, and Brazilian cheese rolls.  All of this was gluten free and we didn't have to work hard to make it so.  No substitutions were made for all the of recipes.  I think Easter is the only major holiday that that has happened for us!  I mean, I suppose you could say that the rolls were substituting but I think since they ARE a real "roll" in Brazil that weren't "meant" to be gluten free, they can be counted as "normal" food. :)

Oh it was so delicious -- all that food.  But the sad thing is, I think my stomach has shrunk since being on the latest meds.  So I piled my plate only to eat about 1/4-1/2 of it!!!  The good thing about big feasts hosted at your house, though, is that you get leftovers ALL week :)  And I've definitely been taking full advantage of that.

So anyway, leaving on a "food" note, I'll say - here's hoping and praying that the next two weeks will be easy on my body and encouraging to my soul!

1 comment:

  1. After I did my massive dose of Larium for babesia, which was the most agonizing thing I've ever gone through, I have had so many good days--days where I didn't have to think about how many spoons I had!

    What I've learned from my experience is not to hold on to the spoon theory too tightly, because, while it is great for explaining life with a chronic illness, if you accept that your life will ALWAYS be counting spoons, then it just might!

    We CAN get all the way better and we WILL get all the way better. You just have to believe it, believe in yourself, trust God, and keep fighting! :)