Sunday, September 12, 2010


Well, still no seizures so that's a great sign. But I still feel yucky. BUT, I am having more and more GOOD "moments" throughout the day. Moments that I'm NOT dizzy, that I DON'T have balance problems -- that I feel fairly "normal". Problem is, these moments are usually short-lived. But I take it as progress. Someday MOST of the day will be good? Right?

What do you do when you're chronically ill and one of your kids gets sick? They NEED their mom. They need the hugs and cuddles and extra energy and attention it requires. Especially when they are a little baby. They don't understand "Mommy's sick" or "I don't have the energy to walk in there and help you". So you just have to FORCE your body to do it.

Thankfully the littlest one got sick on Friday and so I only had one day to deal with her alone. Often I was mustering every ounce of energy (that I don't have) to get up when she woke up early from her naps and needed cuddles. I just have to say, squirmy cuddles are not like still cuddles. Squirmy cuddles require about 10 times more energy than still cuddles. *sigh* Just thinking about it wears me out.

I'm thankful for my husband who basically did ALL the caring for the littlest one this weekend and we're looking like the sicky is on the mend. So hopefully when he goes back to work tomorrow it won't be as difficult to care for a sick one when I'm ill myself.
I'm so thankful for healthy (in the sense they do not have a chronic illness) children. So I suppose I shouldn't complain when they get normal sniffles.

I really just want to be "well enough" to start killing the Lyme. I hope that can be soon! I want to be well and a normal mommy. You know you're not well when your 3-year-old often asks, "You're not feeling good, Mom?" or comes up to you as you lay on the couch and strokes your head and says, "It's okay, my wuv. It's okay."

1 comment:

  1. Its tough with kids! My tasks me all the time if I dont feel good. Keep on fighting the fight!!!