outnumbered

I have begun what I haven't done since November - and even then I had help a few times a week - I'm caring for my girls without help.

Well now that my little 9 month girly is old enough to sense that I can be outnumbered, she seems to have brought on her little impish ways full force.  What an angel she is when Daddy is here or when Grandma was here.  Even around the holidays when we were surrounded by family, no one would believe me when I told them what a little scamp she could be.

And why is it, that when the little ones sense you are sick, they decide to be on their worst behavior?  I mean, just having a normal cold or flu for those of you who aren't chronically ill - you know what I mean.  For me, every day is a sick day and I think my kids have gotten used to that.  But definitely on the worst of those sick days, they seem to huddle and work together to foil all the order I have tried to plan for the day as I lay hopeless on the couch.  And I believe the mastermind behind the shenanigans is my speechless 9 month old.

My three year old is a compassionate little soul and I will say she tries to "help" me and please me most of the time. But she is only three afterall and all three year olds can't be expected to act like adults :)  I am convinced that little 9 month old Liv has her sights set on the weak one in the herd just because she knows I can't do much to stop her.

-She knows just the pitch of a loud yell that will pierce the ache in my body and she won't stop doing it until someone picks her up.  I believe that ignoring it is the best course of action and she will stop because I used that method with her big sister when she was that age.  The only problem with that method NOW is that I'm so sick that it's hard to ignore it when it sends your body writhing.  It's amazing how SOUND can cause so much more pain in an already pain riddled body.

Seeing as I simply cannot pick her up and hold her (since she insists I stand while I hold her), I have had to ignore her as best as I can and I do see this method working.  But all it takes is ONE person picking her up when she yells for the whole cycle to start all over again.

-She senses that when I'm in a hurry or stressed (like trying to get the girls food at about the same time) that she can really push my buttons by following my every step, being underfoot, and eventually crying very hard and loudly when I walk out of her eyesight for a minute to get something else.

-She poops 3 times in one awake period, because she knows I just got up to put away the diaper and wipes. :)

-She doesn't finish her bottles or solid foods for a whole day because she can tell that worries me.  Then the next day has a normal day of eating everything I give her just to keep me on my toes.

-And so much more.

Awake times are hard at this point.  Granted we are staying in a timeshare and not our house yet.  The house is not yet ready for us (beds are still being put together, clothes still being put in their drawers, etc).  So I think once we get back into a normal "routine", it will be better.

And it's not all bad.  I mean, for all her devious ways, she does sleep really well.  She takes TWO 2 1/2 hour naps a day.  And sleeps 12 hours at night.  I mean, I guess I really shouldn't complain at all because not many moms can say that about their kid.

But anyway -- I'll say it again -- taking care of two young kiddos while chronically ill is probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

And it's also a joy.  There is so much reward that even on the toughest day I never wish I wasn't a mom.