brainy

I don't struggle too much anymore with brain fog.  I did at one point for a while but I do think that the Lyme treatment has helped with that a lot.  I still hit the fog every once in a while when I'm on meds but for the most part I try to do my best when I am able to keep my brain thinking.  I do this by solving puzzles on my Kindle :)  Now, you don't have to have a Kindle to be able to play these games.  You can have a regular old computer and download Kindle for PC or Mac onto your machine (for free).  And of course you can do old fashion stuff like crossword puzzles, etc. if you don't want to sit in front of a computer.

But what I'm saying is that when I decided to make a conscious effort to exercise my brain a few months ago, I noticed great improvements.  At first it was just maybe a few minutes a day I could handle.  Now some days I can do multiple rounds of 15 minutes stints (with breaks throughout the day).

Here are my favorite brain exercises for the Kindle:

Pixel Perfect Puzzles (and it's $0.00!)

Shuffled Row (also free!)

Every Word (again....FREE)

I guess what I'm saying is that it's so easy when you feel awful to just hole up on the couch (because we don't have much energy for anything else!).  So when I COULD handle some brain stuff, it made me feel like at least I was being somewhat productive even though the rest of my body couldn't physically be productive.

But again, I know the feeling of overwhelming brain fog and during those times it would have been IMPOSSIBLE to attempt any of these games.  If I tried writing a grocery list or typing a short email, words would come out backwards (like I was dyslexic!!), and just trying to remember what I was going to say next was often a problem.  So don't feel bad if your brain is not up to exercising yet.  My body still isn't (at least anything more than a walk through my house or some rebounding on the trampoline)!!! :) 

gifted!

Someone special sent a gift.....a gift they knew I wanted :)  It was so fun to receive.  Even though it came from Amazon, it was wrapped!

It was a mini-trampoline!

Why would I want this you ask?  Well I've been told by a few people, including a lymphatic drainage masseuse, that a form of mild exercise on the trampoline called "rebounding" can be so beneficial to getting your lymph system flowing.  Just sitting here most of the day causes all the toxicity to just build up in my body (the lymph system) so exercise is great for detoxing.  Only, I hardly have the energy for anything of the sort.  Rebounding is something I can do.  Even if it's only for 2 minutes a few times a day (and I definitely hold on to something or else my dizziness would cause me to fall), it helps.  Soon I'll work myself up to more minutes a day.  But let's start small.

Anyway, thanks, Mom for thinking of me!  It's always fun to get packages and gifts!  It brightens my day!

okay

Yeah.  I'm not doing too bad.  The last week wasn't horrible and this week isn't shaping up to be horrible at all.  Either the last round of killing meds did something, or this is a fluke.  But whatever it is, I'm just so thankful that TODAY I feel okay.  I'm still working on not "over doing it", but I'm getting better at that.

I've had more sugar than I should have last week and this.  Sugar + Lyme disease = the Lyme bacteria's dream.  So I need to be better than that.

Well, that's all I have to say today unfortunately but I'm sure there will be some bigger posts to come.

Still waiting on a really good interview that I think will encourage most of you who have kids.

Here's hoping to some rays of sunshine in your rainy days!

always cheerful

.....NOT!!!!  That is one thing I wish I had the gift for.  Always keeping the bright side of situations.  But unfortunately I don't.  Take the other night when I said I made dinner?  Well as the night progressed and the meal was presented I felt more awful and more awful. It was clear to me that me making dinner was a bad idea.  Being on my feet that long and stirring and mixing, and cooking and baking.  My body wasn't ready for it and I pushed it.  All these thoughts came to me about how I had secretly hoped that making dinner would show me that I was not as sick as I thought I was.  And now those thoughts were dashed.  I had set myself up for it.

As I lagged over my plate to finish the last bite my husband said, "You should go rest now."  I slugged away and mumbled dolefully, "I'll NEVER be able to make dinner will I? EVER!!"  and my husband said, "Not with that attitude you won't."  I wanted to go off and say, "It doesn't even MATTER my attitude, all that matters is how my BODY feels."  Ho-hum, woe is me.  But I did get his point.

Whenever I have this kind of attitude, a little prickling hits me in the mind reminding me of the verses in Proverbs about how good a joyful heart is for your PHYSICAL body:

"A joyful heart makes a cheerful face, but when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken." Prov. 15: 13
"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." Prov. 17:22

It's hard to do a one-eighty and immediately turn to joy but I do pray that God will help me in those moments.  Because having a joyful attitude DOES make my body feel a lot better, even when I'm feeling crummy.  When I'm at my worst (attitudinally) I often will start thinking of all the blessings God has placed in my life a that moment.  It helps but I confess it doesn't always cause the full change it should.

But I think we should try in those moments of being "down-on-ourselves" for things we obviously can't change about our physical state, to CHOOSE not to dwell on them.  We have that choice.  You can choose to have a pity party or you can try to make lemonade out of a lemony situation that isn't going to change.  You can pull yourself out of it by consciously making the choice to be grateful, or thankful, or joyful, or even better yet - choose to focus your mind on helping someone else who might be struggling.  Sit down and send them an email or snail mail with some encouraging words.  This takes the focus completely off of you and your slimy pity pit and instead showers someone else who might be in the "pit" with a glimpse of cheerfulness.  I'll tell you, it does wonders for me.  Because I see others who struggle with things similar to me and others who struggle with things different from me but I know we all share the same propensity -- the propensity to feel discouraged and I don't know anyone who would say that a kind word or two or fifty didn't help lift their spirits.

So I guess I say all that to mean, when you feel down on yourself, take a moment and send me an encouraging email.  Okay?  We'll all benefit from it.

worn out!

So this week started off great.  My first of two "off" weeks (off of medication).  I had a little more energy and generally felt pretty good.  Good enough to make plans this week!  Not much of me going out but of having people here.

We had friends over for dinner the night before and it was SOOOOOO fun.  Yesterday I woke up and still felt pretty good.  So I did a little extra yesterday (took on a simple sewing project and finished and made dinner!!!) and I think that's what got me to sit back a little.

oh yes....it's there.

 I don't feel defeated or back into my shell on the permanently dented spot on the couch that conforms to me perfectly, but it was enough of a wake up call to say, "Heather, take it easIER."  So that's what I plan to do today.  Rest rest rest and enjoy my girls without the shroud of "ick" on me or the irritability that can be present when I feel so so physically awful.

Oh, Lyme!  You will not get the better of me!  It is SO important for us who have these illnesses to really "listen" to our bodies.  It WILL tell you when you're overdoing it and if you don't listen to it, you will pay for it generally very soon after.    So I'm going to "listen" because I still have the rest of the week ahead of me and a whole OTHER week after that to feel "good" before I get on the meds again.

Thanking God so much for the healing we are seeing taking place.  Even if it is very small and hard to see at times.

thought of

8 Ways to Encourage Your Chronically Ill Friend (from a distance)

(and I know these from experience. I've been asked several times by different people what THEY could to do encourage us from a distance)

1. Pray for them - you don't know how encouraging this is to us.

2. Buy a gift card for Starbucks or Jamba Juice or some place like that you know they think is a treat (you can ask if you don't know).  I was given a Starbucks gift card last year by someone because they know that my husband and I love to go there as a treat.  Every time I pulled out that card to pay I felt encouraged by the person who gave it.  And even though the amount on the card wasn't that much, it still felt like the card kept giving way longer than it should have because I never kept the receipt that said how much was left on it :) By the time it had a zero balance I was just so thankful it had lasted THAT long :)

Inside this bubble-wrap mailer was the gift of a French Macaroon
(gluten free) from my favorite French bakery in Los Angeles.

3. Send an encouraging note through the mail, even if it's short or just says "I'm thinking about you".  It's awfully nice to receive snail mail and packages when you're not feeling well.  My dad's Aunt has been really good about sending cards at random times.  They always have simple, yet encouraging words in them and somehow always come on a day I really need it.  Now whenever I see the return address and it's her, I smile and am ALREADY encouraged and get so excited to open the card.





4. Find their Amazon wish list (if they have one) and send them an unexpected gift of something they've been wanting.  Lots of people with Lyme and other illnesses struggle financially so they don't often get to buy things just for fun or even things they NEED.  Sending them a gift from a list they made or even sending a gift card to a store you know they love can be really special for them.....it doesn't even have to be for a high amount; a $5-10 gift card to a store can still brighten someone's day.  I know that I, and some other friends I know, put things on an Amazon wish list mostly for fun or so we don't forget that we've found something that we'd like to buy at some point when we have a bit more money.  And I also know that if you aren't sure what stores your friends love to shop at, it doesn't hurt to ask them.


5. Send them a random hand-picked care package. One of the most encouraging things I got one time was from a girl I'd never met.  She'd found my blog a few years ago and had been struggling with some undiagnosed health problems and she found encouragement through my words.  She emailed me and it turned out she went to a church where some of my college friends went.  We would email back and forth and she prayed for me and I prayed for her.  One day I got a package in the mail from her.  It was SO fun to open.  There was an encouraging note, some of her favorite gluten-free treats, a "mixed tape" cd of her favorite encouraging songs, a candle, and a few other little things.  It made me feel so loved to get such a thoughtful package from someone I hadn't even met!!  And it's ALWAYS fun to get a package in the mail, isn't it?  I still have that CD she made and I listen to it when I'm most "down".


6. Send encouraging words via email/Facebook.

7. Give them a call and chat; tell them funny stories about what's going on in your life. But be mindful that when you call they may not be up for staying on long or for talking at that moment.  One of my friends always begins our calls with "I don't want you to use up all your energy on this phone call so tell me when you need to get off."  Another says, "Can you listen?  I have some funny stories." and she doesn't expect me to talk if I'm not up for it and I just LOVE hearing about her day or funny kid stories she tells me.


8.  Pray for them.  Yes, I said it twice.  This is really the most important thing you can do for someone who is chronically ill.  Pray specifically for healing, ENCOURAGEMENT, and patience, not only for them but for their spouses and/or children.

nostalgic

A lot of us "Lymies" used to be very athletic.  A healthy weight and the kind of people who told the doctor at an annual check-up that we exercised a few times a week at the least.  Good hikers.....in fact, so good that we became ill by it.  Because of that itty-bitty insect called a tick that likes to camp out on a long (or short) piece of brush and climb on to a warm body that passes by.

I know that's not how all people who have Lyme got it.  But it's how I got it.  Hiking...camping...in the most beautiful place in the world (to me).  In the Sierra Nevadas....more specifically in Sequoia National Park.  High high up where the giant Sequoia trees grow and the forests are lush with green.  I was camping there before I was even born!!!

I believe this was the year I was bitten by THE tick.  I probably even got it in this meadow. It's crazy to think about now!

And between then and now (nearly 30 years), I have been camping there just about every year (I think I've missed the "annual trip" three times at the most).  It's lovely there and our family hasn't had to even think twice whether we'd meet up there again the next year.  We've now brought our children there and now our parents are grandparents there.

This is the place that condemned me to the state I am today.  A tick bite from one of those many camping trips is what gave me Advanced Lyme and it's co-infections.

It's strange, it's the first year since being diagnosed that I haven't been able to go.  We usually make the cross-country trip to meet up with family there but this summer I am too ill.   Last year we went on our yearly family camping trip there 3 days before I was diagnosed with Lyme.  I  knew I was probably going to be sealed with that fate of a diagnosis so I was even more aware that year of the GREEN;  the FOLIAGE; the MEADOW; and the DEER.

They stuck out to me like a highlighted paragraph on a page.  When I looked at them I just thought, "Check yourself and the babies for ticks."  If Georgie walked through our campsite (which was pretty much only dirt and rocks) and passed by a lone frond growing near our campsite, it took all that was within me to not run over scoop her up before her little leg could brush against the grass.  I was a little compulsive about it.

We went on a long, 14 mile overnight hike last year.  It was the last hike I would take for quite some time and for the foreseeable future.  This was backwoods hiking; not a real trail to follow.  It took a lot for me to do it.

I don't think I told anyone (well, maybe my husband), but I was frightened and had to pray and calm myself down the entire hike.  The first hour of the hike if I felt any sort of tickle on my leg or arm I'd slap off or brush it forcefully.  Usually it was nothing.  I kept mentioning to our little troupe (brothers and sisters) to "check for ticks".

Look at where we had to set up our overnight tent! The MIDDLE of a meadow!!!  Imagine my fright.

And in this picture we are sitting on gathered foliage to pad our seat.  I remember being so afraid to sit and relax after a long day of hiking because I felt that a tick could be crawling up my clothes at any minute.  Matt helped me calm down.

And NOW -- now that I am in the throes of the ugliness of what the disease can really do to you, all we have to do is drive BY a greenbelt and I think, "Evil ticks", see a deer and think, "Mean deer", hear someone mention hiking and think, "Make sure to wear light colored clothing".  I have been a bit obsessed.

But wouldn't anyone be who has been hurt by something that was preventable?  Now, what I saw happening to myself was my fear becoming large and overwhelming.  To the point where I was frightened to even THINK about camping or hiking because I just couldn't imagine how I'd be able to keep track of everyone in tick areas or if I'd even be able to SPOT a tick on my own kids and husband.

But like I do with all my fears, I walk into them, trusting I've got someone looking out and caring for me.  I know fears are partially irrational.  I've learned to combat fear, you need to speak the truth to yourself (or let someone else speak it to you).  I told myself that MANY people safely hike and camp and that for all those years we've been camping, I am the only one in my extended family who has gotten a tick bite (visibly).  I am the only one ill from it.  God spared the rest of my family.  And I know He is in charge of how things turn out.  I told myself you can easily be vigilant about ticks, use the right bug repellant, wear the right clothes, do thorough "tick checks".

What has happened to a seemingly overwhelming fear has turned into something I'm now a master over. I actually look FORWARD to the day I am physically able to start hiking again and the next time we can go camping.  I know a lot more now about tick awareness and I just LONG to be back in those beautiful woods and meadows.  The beauty of enjoying God's creation now overpowers my fear of ticks.

Conquered the mountain!

The Great Divide.....stunning.

But, this doesn't mean I don't still drive by a greenbelt and say, "evil ticks!" or see a deer and say, "mean deer!" but I think in all bad situations it's nice to have the thing that made you sick (a tick) to teasingly curse at.

flower'd

Look at these lovelies.  As you know I've been really struggling this week.  Especially with some painful rashes that flare the moment I swallow one of the antibiotics.  Seems allergy to me, but my doctor is pretty confident it is part allergy, part herx.  So for now I'm just on Zyrtec every night (and that has helped considerably with the rashes).

A few nights ago I got what I thought was a shingles rash.  I've heard if you go in early and get anti-viral meds, you can have a completely different experience with shingles than someone who goes without them. Meaning -- less pain.  So I trekked myself to the ER.  It was a "perfect storm" night....husband was home to watch the kids and I had my window of opportunity to go get checked out without kids in tow.  So I did it -- within two hours of getting the rash.

I was pretty trepidatious about seeing an ER doctor. I've heard so many bad stories from other Lymies who say their doctor didn't believe they had Lyme.  So I prayed that my doctor wouldn't be one of those.

He was very nice.  He was an older doctor and upon hearing I was being treated for Lyme and hearing my med list, he seemed a little taken aback. I didn't know how to size him up.  He asked me how often I take the antibiotics, etc. and then seemed to find me more credible when he found out I wasn't just stuffing myself with antibiotics every single day of my life and that my doctor had me on a lot of safety supplements and stuff to prevent things like candida and other problems that arise with long-term anti-biotic use.  He became a little more friendly and seemed to grow more confident that I wasn't making it up or self-treating.

He took a look at the "shingles" rash and said that rashes were hard to deal with.  No doctor wants to get a "rash" patient (unless they're a dermatologist).  He said if he was going with his gut he'd say it was shingles based on my complaints about it and how it looked.  So he gave me anti-viral meds.  He also prescribed a steroid and pain meds just in case.  But very surprisingly he told me NOT to take the steroid before talking to my Lyme doctor.  He somehow had the knowledge that steroids might be bad for Lyme.  I was already thinking, "Well, I'm not going to take the steroid."  I was pleasantly surprised at his knowledge.

Within that visit with the doctor, a new rash popped up within seconds.  This was far different from the shingles one and the coincidence was that I had just taken my antibiotics before I headed to the ER.  He rightly recognized that it could be a reaction to one of the antibiotics I'm on.  And he told me to also call my doctor about that after describing to me how this particular antibiotic can suddenly show signs that you're allergic even if you've been taking it for a year.

So my first experience with an ER doctor while having Lyme went swimmingly well.

Did you know my girls JUST got their chickenpox vaccine?  And they ask you before if there's anyone in the house with a compromised immune system.  I always forget to say, "Oh yes.  It's me."  The doctor said it's not out of the realm of possibility that I got shingles from the girls just having the vaccine because it's a live-virus.

He left me saying, "Take the anti-virals and watch the rash.....if it doesn't behave like shingles, then maybe you don't have it after all and then stop taking them and see what happens."

So I'll tell you this -- my "shingles" rash doesn't hurt or burn anymore and it is NOT continuing to spread BUT it still LOOKS like shingles.  So I'm not convinced it ISN'T shingles but I'm wondering if it's yet another one of those weird "Lyme things".  Lyme and the treatment for it can cause some pretty strange stuff to happen to your body.  So I think this could be just another odd thing my body is doing because it's all revved up.  Settle, down, sweet immune system!

So after those days and along with that ER visit and having the rashes, I have also been extremely weak and shaky and barely able to make it through a day.  Someone knew I needed a pick-me-up.  Didn't my husband pick out beautiful flowers?  They add cheer to my day when I wake up and see them first thing downstairs :)

I'm so thankful for a thoughtful and caring partner in life!

like a movie day

What's she watching?  Blue's Clues!

Some days are just deemed "movie" days.  And my oldest girl gets to watch show after show until I can pull it together and try to help her be creative.  A "normal" sick day for me includes her being allowed to watch one 30 min. show in the morning and MAYBE a movie in the afternoon.  But really really bad sick days are quite different.  

So until my next "normal" sick day, I'm crashed on the couch with her.

hopeful

(Ironically, this is a bad day for me.....2nd week into "ugly treatment" (as I'm calling this protocol) and almost finished with the week and I'm already wishing I could throw in the towel.....but my spirits are still hopeful that this is doing good to get me to the end of the tunnel.)

Someone asked me the other day how my "hope" was that day.  With my Lyme (as I suspect with other people with the disease), my hope goes up and down daily.  It doesn't even really depend on if I feel bad.  Some days when I feel absolutely terrible, I still have hope; hope that there is an end eventually to all this misery (even though I don't know when that will be).

Hope that I again will look like this (taken 5 1/2 years ago):

Bright, happy, healthy eyes (it's all in the eyes, isn't it?)

Instead of this (taken this year):

Sad, sunken, droopy eyes

Well, I do have another kind of hope.  The hope in the promises of God.  That he won't forsake me (Ps 9:10  Is 41:17  2Cor 4:8-10) or leave me during this trial, that His love is never failing (Ps 13:5  Ps 119:75-76), and that some day I get to enjoy Him forever in heaven (without pain or sadness!) because I believe in the work Jesus did on the cross for my sin (Jn 3:16  Rom 6:22-23 Rev 21:3-5)  .

But the hope I'm talking about today is the stuff that helps you get through a day sometimes when you're really struggling physically, not that the other hope isn't there, but this is the hope about having an end date.  Like when your belly is swollen with a baby and you just wish that darned thing would come out because you KNOW he/she will provide so much joy and you will be out of your physical misery of carrying such a load :).  You KNOW there's an end in sight....you have a due date to hope for.

I used to have despair (and I still do sometimes) because it seemed like I couldn't "see" an end to this illness.  It seemed so far away and foggy and ambiguous because with treatment I wasn't feeling better.  I mean, I had little breakthroughs but nothing to tell my heart "You're getting better!!!!!!"  Because with Lyme, often it is one step forward, two (or three or four) steps back.  It's hard for a new Lymie to understand this.  So when I had a day of feeling "good" it made me get excited that I WAS getting better, only to be slammed down the next day with crushing fatigue and pain once again.  It took a few of those scenarios to realize I should probably just not get excited about those good days at all....despair.

And then the farther I went on with treatment, I was eventually able to see how actually the little breakthroughs actually were significant even if I crashed the next day because if I looked at myself at the same time the year or two before, I hardly EVER had good days.  So while it's hard to really not be able to see an end "date" of when I will feel normal again (no one can predict that except God), I've learned to not get overly excited or think about a "good" day as a huge step toward the end game; or get greedy with them like I think I need to hoard it since they are so few and far between.

Instead I take those "good" days and peacefully and thankfully relish them like sunshine after days of stormy weather; not worrying about what tomorrow holds.  And I say to myself and to my God, "At least I feel good today."

intrigued

Today I got my safety labs done.  I go in every 2-4 weeks for routine blood work so my doctor can make sure my body is handling the treatment well.  Only once (actually my very first safety lab) did they call me and tell me to stop meds immediately because my white blood count was abnormally low.  They said it was pretty normal for that to happen and that after I got tested again the next week and those came back normal that I could start up again.

So I've had my share of "pokies" (as my eldest calls them).  But this time a very intriguing thing happened.  As he began to draw the blood my vein started vibrating.  The whole time (three tubes worth of time), my vein alternated between vibrating and not vibrating whether or not he slowed down the flow.  He said it hardly ever happens but basically the veins can be thought of as a series of pressurized tubes and before he inserted the needle and vial to collect the blood,  a tourniquet was applied to congest a part of the the "tubes" so they are full and congested now.  So when you pull the blood out of one of those pressurized veins, the pressure is released so sometimes it will vibrate as the pressure decreases.  Now THAT was easy to follow, wasn't it?  Anyway -- it made sense to me when he told me about it.  The pressure was causing my vein to vibrate.  It felt weird.  And he could feel it with his hand nowhere near my vein but on my arm.  Crazy stuff.

Has that ever happened to you?

shaky

Well, for sure these last 4-5 days have really walloped me.  At the moment I have got THE worst headache and my whole right side is shaky.  It's always only my RIGHT side.  That is the side of my face that droops too when my body is particularly fighting hard.

Last night my RIGHT leg wasn't working properly so when I tried to walk I just looked funny.  It wasn't a limp....it was almost like my right leg didn't want to bend very much so I looked plain silly to my husband and brother.  I also veered a lot - trying to WALK straight but veering one way or another (which means walking into walls or falling into them).  It's why I walk terribly slow when I feel like that; going too fast has resulted in some bruises.

Anyway -- I don't always shake or tremor.  It usually happens when the antibiotics have packed a punch and that seemed evident on the second day of taking antibiotics.  Then hit Thursday and Friday which are days I take a "cyst-buster" drug and there's a whole other world of debilitating symptoms to explore.  Not cool.

I just keep thinking back to every new round of treatment that I've done -- the beginning is the hardest (for me).  As each week of treatment goes on, the less and less my symptoms are there.  So feeling THIS bad right now I know is temporary.....and ultimately for my good.

I took this video at some point a bit ago when my arm was particularly shaky but I still had to feed my little ones.  Just to show you an example of the "shakes" :)

weak

This is a BAD week. Shaky, weary, weak.

I think I took this video last week which was my "off" week of meds.  But even without meds I still am so wiped out at the end of the day.  On antibiotic weeks imagine it even worse.  For me, taking care of the girls during the day (without the means to hire help) AND being so ill just makes me need to collapse as soon as my husband comes home from work.  He blesses me so much with his willingness to "take over" and cook every night.

happy

My little brother is here.  It makes my heart happy.  My daughters adore him.  He didn't even know he was coming until a few days ago when he found a great deal on a flight. (See what I mean about God always taking care of us when we need it most?) But something that makes me so genuinely happy about his being here is not the giggles I hear from my oldest, or the bashful, verging-on-having-a-1.year.old-crush smiles my youngest gives him. It's not the beautiful music he fills our house with (he's great on the guitar and the piano!).  It's not even his thoughtfulness at making the kids' lunch without me asking.

It's that my husband is so blessed to have him here.  Lyme affects all members of the family.  The youngest are young enough that they'll probably forget most of how ill I was at this time in their lives, but for Matt, it's acute and painful.  He helplessly watches me be in pain, feeling crummy, watching me tremor and seize sometimes.  He cares for our family - working a job that pays for our life, then coming home and being Mr. Mom, and being a "nurse"....all in one day.  He's stretched thin and he's been needing some encouragement just as I have.

When he heard that my brother was coming his face lit up.  It made my heart smile.  They stayed up late watching a soccer game last night, and they are planning a half-day outing to a world famous waterpark that we live fairly close to, and lots of Wii will be played.

It's not that I don't count his trip here an encouragement to me also - I mean, he is such a blessing to be around.  He's wise and godly; he's also the funniest guy I know with well-placed wit and an infectious laugh.  Just the other night we weren't going to be able to see fireworks where we lived on the 4th of July so he set up his laptop and found a website where you can "click" to make fireworks appear on the screen.  He dubbed traditional "fireworks" music to it and everything.

So anyway -- I'm so happy he's here and glad he can encourage all of us, but most of all, I'm so happy my husband gets a little boost of morale in the midst of this dark disease.

hit

The first hit was yesterday.  Today is equally as destructive because it's the same dose as yesterday. Yikes! I took these videos yesterday (I've actually been keeping a sort of "video diary" of a lot that has happened with my Lyme disease and when appropriate I'll post them (yes, there are some with ugly crying....those might take a LONG time to surface on here :) ).

Before the meds:


After the meds:


When I'm particularly hit hard, my right side of the face will droop a little.  Mostly in the eye area.  But I can feel it all along my face.  When I can detox a bit it gets better but it's amazing how Lyme has affected so many parts of my body!

Here's a pic where you can see it better - droopy right (my right) eye:

ready

*big breath*

Tougher protocol begins today....

.....I think I'm ready to take it on.