Tuesday, May 17, 2011


This "paint medicine" as my daughter calls it (it's actually called Mepron), gives me the worst headache when I'm on it.  So being that this is my second week of I don't know HOW many cycles of the meds, I'm headache-y.  It comes on about 2:30pm and just gets worse and worse until bed.  Quite sad.

My little girl came up to me this afternoon as I lay on the couch trying to avoid noises and moving and such and she said in her sweet little voice, "Do you want me to scratch your back?"  To her, this is the UTMOST comfort.  Sweet little one.  To be fair, after she gave me a "scratch back", she asked me to give her one :)  And I obliged.

Lately I've just tried to do MORE for the kids.  As much as I can without making myself pay for it the next day.  This means little things.  Like "looking" when she says, "Look, Mom!" and does something silly or something to "show off".  Or taking the time as I pass my little tyke to give her brief tickles so she smiles and fake giggles.  She's still Daddy's little girl, but she still enjoys when I give her 1-year-old silliness.

This picture has been on my mind lately.  When I saw it recently the caption came to mind - "Before the Fall".  This was RIGHT after I had been diagnosed with Lyme.  I was fresh off a pregnancy and wasn't feeling as terrible as I had in the past and we actually had some sort of "hope" that maybe we caught "it" (Lyme) at a point where it wouldn't be a huge fall to be treated.

 It was summer, and we did so much that summer all in a span of a few weeks.  We went camping, trudged through a 14 mile overnight mountain climb, spent time with family, went to a sort of college retreat (where the pic was taken---I was dancing in a skit), and went camping again.

I'd say about a week after this shot was taken I was convulsing in a parking lot somewhere in Utah.  Scariest.drive.home.EVER.  I could barely move and we had a 2 day drive to get home.  Once there, I could barely walk, would fall often, and would convulse often.  And my husband still had to work so I was home alone with the kiddos.  Those were the days where my 3 year old was told that if "mommy's eyes ever close and don't open,  you need to call Daddy." And she was taught how.  If she ever saw my eyes close a little to rest she pleaded with me not to close my eyes.  Poor thing.

But I do see how far I've come from AFTER the crash.  We see improvement.  Even though it's been rough and I'm sure will still be rough, I at least feel like I see a tiny glimmer of light coming from the end of the tunnel.

We're blessed to have been given so many good things and so many encouragements along the way.  It makes the times when we're so so down survivable because we know that God has our best in mind.  We know He's in control.

T-minus 17 days until we fly to DC to see my LLMD.  Hoping for good news and some more improvement before then :)

OH and btw - if you haven't heard yet, Netflix is offering Under Our Skin to watch instantly.  This is a great documentary about Lyme, the controversy about the disease, and also just what we Lymies and families of Lymies go through.  So watch it if you haven't yet!

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