Tuesday, May 24, 2011

stripped?

It is awfully nice when someone says you look "great" because they know you are sick and they think that since you look "great" it means you must feel a lot better.  It's fun to see their enthusiasm that you're getting better even though they don't know you don't feel like you've made progress.  Most times I just enjoy that instead of getting all uppity about it and how I should say I don't FEEL great, but thank you.  I just nod and say thanks.  Because, really, isn't it nice to be told you look great?

I believe it's makeup.  And a pretty dress for church.  You strip all that away and, well...you don't look all that "great" anymore.
Makeup covers a lot of flaws (as does a good lens on a camera)-

 Foundation, eye makeup, blush, lip gloss----

 But then take away the eye makeup and lip gloss and you start looking the part of a sicky again...slightly...

 But take away the foundation and you get to see the hives that have been plaguing me this week and the acne that has sprouted up because of the stress on my body, and then the pop of pink you were wearing in the dress is gone making you look paler, and then when you take the smile off because it takes energy, well - you start to look not as "great".

I have shown up to church that way before and I can tell you, no one said I looked "great".  Instead I got hugs and sympathy and prayers.  Because I DID look ill.

I'm not having a pity party at all and these picture don't do justice to my skin flaws, but you get the idea.  Just because a chronically ill person looks great, doesn't mean she feels great.  But I think we'd all agree, it doesn't mean we don't want you to tell us we're looking good.  I think we just also want to know that you know it's a long road and showing up one day looking good doesn't mean we're healed.

My husband will always think I'm beautiful -- hives and all.  He never complains, but he does tell me I look "really good today" when I put on a dress and some makeup.  I like that.  Even if I don't feel good.  I know when he says it, he's not saying, "You're better!" He's seen all the ins and outs of the disease and what I go through daily. He's saying what every partner in life should say every now and then -- "You're pretty to me! And you've still got it goin' on!"  :)

2 comments:

  1. This is a very beautiful post, Heather. Kudos for writing this. You look lovely in EVERY single one of those pics!

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  2. I remember once when I had cancer and treatments going on, and had no hair, and was misshapen due to breast surgery, and overweight because of medications, and lack of exercise, and had been browning a roast the day before and it slipped in the pan and spattered hot oil on my face, so I had little burns all over it, that Gary said I looked beautiful. I loved it, and I know exactly what you mean. Only a lifetime commitment before God, gives the freedom to truly see beauty in someone who is "ugly" in the eyes of the world. Thanking God for husbands like that! Matt's right, you look good!

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